What Do You Do When Mother’s Day Hurts?

What Do You Do When Mother’s Day Hurts?

By in Blog, Married

Mother’s Day is nearly here, and it’s one of the most important holidays  on the calendar. So many of us are passionate about our mothers. I know I am. There’s nobody on the planet like my mommie, and I cherish the time I spend with her.

Even with all the cards, balloons, bouquets, and gifts, though, Mother’s day, for some, is a time for tears.

Mother’s Day Tears

Some people find Mother’s Day painful because they’ve lost their precious mothers, and the day reminds them of that empty space Mom used to fill. Seeing others celebrating the day at those Sunday Mother’s Day brunches is more than some people can handle.

Then, there are the husbands and wives who long for children but still have empty arms.  Wives struggling with infertility desperately want to become mothers, and instead, find disappointment month after month.

Challenge at Church

And then there’s church. Mother’s Day is always on Sunday, and  many churches take time to recognize the mothers in the congregation. Have you been in a service that honored all kinds of mothers?

The oldest mother.

The youngest mother.

The mother with the most children.

The mother with the most GRANDchildren.

The newest mother.

All the mothers in the room.

Can you imagine wishing with all your heart that you could stand up for one of those, and you can’t? Many women facing infertility feel injured over and over by this experience. And it doesn’t mean they don’t want to see us celebrate mothers. It just means this day shines a spotlight on their pain.

What Do We Do?

I don’t know the answer, and I’m not even sure there is one. We’re not going to stop celebrating the wonderful women we love so much. And we shouldn’t stop.

Still, for years Mother’s Day was a painful reminder to me that I was not a mother.  I’ve talked with other women who felt that pain, too. And there’s a chance someone you love—for one reason or another–is dreading Mother’s Day. If so, I hope you’ll  check on them Saturday. Give them a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, and maybe they’ll be able to face this Mother’s Day with fewer tears.

If Mother’s Day gives you the blues, you may feel alone—like an outsider looking in. You’re convinced that “everyone” else is happy and that your sadness makes you out of place. If that’s true, why not do something different this year? Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or a ministry in your church for support.

Maybe having someone to understand, empathize, and care will make facing this Mother’s Day a little easier.

Pour It Out

Remember that you can pour out your feelings to the Lord and ask Him to heal your broken heart, too. Ask Him to help you experience His peace and joy. I’m not offering you shallow advice here either. If you live for God and believe His word, you know you can come boldly to Him when you’re in need and find help. So do that.

Redirect It

Another way to deal with your own pain is to find someone who’s having a tougher time than you are and help them. They may not have a “Mother’s Day problem.” The point is, we can redirect our focus away from ourselves and turn our pain into a form of ministry. That’s much better than digging a deeper hole of sadness for ourselves.

If Mother’s Day has been painful for you, I hope you’ll find all the support you need to turn that around this year.

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone!


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